I Watched the Worst Hallmark Movies So You Don’t Have To

Around the holidays there are many things people think of: snow, presents, or even music. But the one thing that’s also constant that no one talks about is the Hallmark Christmas movies. Yeah I said it, they are a constant of stay at home moms or grandmothers and you cannot go a single holiday season without seeing at least one. Due to this fact, I feel this is an overlooked tradition and decided to watch ten of the many Hallmark movies. I should mention I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel and reviewing the ten worst, how bad could it be? So without further ado here are the five worst rating IMDB Hallmark Christmas movies. 

 

The first movie on our list is the “Santa Switch.” This movie is directed by David Cass Jr. and stars Ethan Erikson, Anne Dudek, and Annie Thurman. Essentially there’s this dad who wants to get good gifts for his kids but doesn’t have the money for gifts for them. His wife has had it with him and divorces him due to him being broke and trying hairbrain business schemes. Then by a stroke of luck (shocking) Kris Kringle himself comes to this household (as he does) and offers him to run Christmas for the year and be “Santa Claus.” So wait a minute, you come into some recently divorced dad’s house and give him the title of the sole bringer of Christmas for the year? Nothing could go wrong with this, right? Well if you said no then I think you need to think a little harder and reevaluate your life choices just like I will have to after finishing all these movies.

 

Do you guys like watching a couple fight in almost every scene of a movie? No? Well then don’t watch “Baby’s First Christmas” because that’s exactly what you’ll get. Basically the two main characters are rivals who aren’t particularly fond of each other but are forced to spend the holidays together since their siblings fell in love and fell into money troubles. So here’s the thing about this one, I would tell you something if I could even remember what happened in it. It was so bland and tasteless that it left me feeling like I just had a weird fever dream or something of the sort. Bottom line of this one? Extremely uneventful and tasteless might be good white noise in the background however.

 

Next on our list is “Mr. Miracle”, and to sum up my feelings on this one: it wasn’t as bad as the last two and was a pretty solid movie. It’s not going to become a Christmas classic anytime soon but was something I didn’t absolutely regret or forget about completely. The plot and script were pretty good if not basic: A college English teacher is secretly a guardian angel and is tasked to watch over the main character after her father passes away. There is definitely heart in this movie but it does ignore the number one rule of storytelling, show don’t tell. Instead of showing how the characters are feeling they will outright say something so overt that puts a spotlight on that emotional beat. Overall this one is the best so far and only falls flat in the story department which is unfortunately a very important 

aspect in film.

 

Home stretch only two more to go and I’m starting to really regret this choice since the last two both have five out of ten stars on IMDB. “Carol Christmas” is just a modern Christmas story. But instead of a greedy old man it’s a blond TV show host who’s so full of herself that she’s cruel to those she works for on Christmas. I think 

honestly the best part of this movie is the ghost of Christmas past and present, played by Gary Coleman and William Shatner respectively. Overall it was alright and inoffensive to me with nothing too notable to go in detail for.

And we’re at the end, the home stretch, “The Santa Incident”. This movie’s plot is so ridiculous I was looking forward to it from the start of this. Santa flies over a military zone and is shot down by government. Santa hides with some random family while the FBI chases him down. You can tell a movie’s acting is bad when the best part of the movie is the child actors. The villain was pretty funny and I just feel the plot itself is so funny by itself that it’s worth a look if you’re interested. Just don’t hope for the next holiday classic.

And that’s the end of the list. I have officially sat through 10 of the worst rated Christmas movies on IMDB. Would I do it again? No. Were these movies that bad? Maybe? I’m just numb to them at this point. This was an interesting festive ride to say the least and happy late holidays to everyone!